Getting the Very Most from Your Coach
You can lead a coach to water, but...
And why not get the most! Coaching is your investment in YOU. Might as well get the best return on that investment! Even though I am a graduate of the premiere executive/life coaching school in the US (The Newfield Network), I need you to coach you too!
So, here are some of my thoughts (naturally):
The Seven Key Secrets to an Effective Coaching Experience
Coach Tip 1: Use me, Use me, Use me!
I am a resource for your use, not the "answer man."
Remember, even though Molder and Scully seem to think the "answers are out there," they are not. They are in YOU! Your answers are not in me, either. Yes, I have lived a lot, made big mistakes, have lots of scars, learned a lot, and am on a journey just like you. And, I have coached others with similar hurricanes going on in their lives, too.
I have been trained to listen (yes listening is NOT natural, despite what you may hear - or not), educate, inspire, and be your trail guide. It's a lot about getting to those hidden, unarticulated conversations that hide in the back of our hearts. I will throw a line in your pond to fish those secret conversations out, share ideas, make requests and observations, and help you to get real clarity around your thinking. Heck, I'll even support your decisions! How's that for going out on a limb....
Coach Tip 2: Get in the driver's seat. Lead the coach....
What? You are the one who is on this journey. Take charge of the coaching process. Get it focused on what you want and need from the experience. By the way, things change over time. As your initial goals are attained, new ones will pop up - new challenges, new perceived limitations and guess what? New possibilities! Come to each session with a direction in mind, a list of issues questions - things on your mind right now. Know what it is you want out of the session and out of the experience. Be pushy, by pointed, be direct, be relentless in moving the conversations in the direction that best serves you. And watch out for those tough questions coming back!
I can't be a guide if we don't know what direction the compass needs to point. And I'll tell you a coaching secret: a lot of coaching goes on between sessions - during your inner conversations. And it's free! Staying in the drivers seat will keep us on the path.
Coach Tip 3: Be there, Be Square.... Be prepared, scout....
If you are not on time with your coach, will you be on time with yourself - your life? Darn, those tough questions!
Nonetheless, be prompt and be ready. This is a lot of work - FOR YOU. Sometimes, I suspect there will be things you need to prepare before the session. Do your homework. Enjoy it, even! These are opportunities for you to expand and see over the horizon. Keep the interruptions during the session to ZERO. Nothing is more distracting in a moment of revelation than a dog licking your foot or a phone ringing on your belt. You need to have some "sacred space."
Gandhi once said there is more to life than speed. Yet if life is to be lived to the fullest, lateness and laziness don't fit into the master plan.
Coach Tip 4: Inspire me! I dare you....
Yikes! You're the one in the coachee seat (coach-speak for client). Why should I inspire the coach?! Well, here's the thing - I am human. Sorry to disappoint you. I have frailties, wants and desires too. Whether you are on the peek or the trough of life's little roller coaster, inspire me. Bring me along for the ride. On the other hand, significance (coach-speak for ego) is of no use to me - or you. I am not easily impressed (nor do I expect to be). I look for authenticity (coach-speak for who you really are - who you "be").
So, now you have some of the secret coach words at your disposal. As a coachee, look at when and why significance is a part of your life and see how your authenticity will serve you so much better. Wow me...I dare you!
Coach Tip 5: Synchronize your External and Internal conversations.
What the heck does that mean?! Well, when what we say does not reflect what we are really thinking, we are incongruent. Even our body language vs. spoken words can give it away. And, we are not being authentic either (remember authentic?). Tell the coach what is really going on, what you are up to at that moment, where your head and especially your heart is right then - no plastic wrapper, no armor, no sugar coating, etc. And make sure the coach is hearing what you are trying to say! Ask!
You can't put out a fire if you don't know the address, right? Right. So, this is about speaking your truth and living with integrity. It will make the coaching connection a whole lot more effective and meaningful. Whew.
Coach Tip 6: Know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em....
Overextension causes great anxiety and suffering. Watch out for the tendency to promise "the world" and deliver much less. Then there is the guilt trip afterward. Ugh! As a great rabbi once said, "Let your yes's mean yes, and your no's mean no." Be mindful of what you commit to and what you are able to deliver. Do well what you promise, as good intentions don't buy much.
Coach Tip 7: Don't keep it a secret!
You are embarking on a great journey. People close to you will see and feel coaching's affects. They will wonder; they might get concerned; they might think you've gone off the deep end! They are interested, so engage them in the process - tell them what you are doing, why and what's happening for you on the journey. Heck, they might want a coach too!
It may not be obvious, yet when we expose ourselves (remember the public declarations?), we are simultaneously validating our commitment to ourselves to craft a more joyful and fulfilling life. What a concept! So, tell the universe and the universe will provide.
Ready For a Change?: Executive Coaching | Personal Life Coaching